Hollywood’s Bizarre Casting Decisions

Wednesday, April 14, 2010 at 4:38 pm

Hollywood’s bizarre casting decisions seem to know no bounds. And in addition to the bonehead ideas of studio executives, there are also those actors and actresses who’ve passed on roles of a lifetime. While these possibilities never materialized in our world, they did occur in some alternate universe where up is down and down is up. The first part of each entry details the real-world roles from some of your favorite films, while the second part looks at a bizarro world where schedules didn’t conflict, execs got what they wanted, and performers weren’t so picky. Read on, my friends, and marvel at what might’ve been.

(NOTE: I’m not making this up. All of these casting decisions could’ve happened.)

I should also note that all of the films listed below can be rented from Netflix. We get a small commission for sending you there, but your price isn’t affected at all. In some other universe, however, I like to imagine that we’re getting $10,000 per referral, and I’m having a steamy tryst with Jessica Alba. A man can always dream, can’t he?

RAIN MAN

In Our World
Charlie Babbitt – Tom Cruise
Raymond Babbitt – Dustin Hoffman

In Bizarro Hollywood
Charlie Babbitt – Dustin Hoffman
Raymond Babbitt – Bill Murray

PRETTY WOMAN

In Our World
Edward Lewis – Richard Gere
Vivian Ward – Julia Roberts

In Bizarro Hollywood
Edward Lewis – Christopher Reeve
Vivian Ward – Karen Allen

THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS

In Our World
Clarice Starling – Jodie Foster

In Bizarro Hollywood
Clarice Starling – Michelle Pfeiffer

BLAZING SADDLES

In Our World
Sheriff Bart – Cleavon Little
The Waco Kid – Gene Wilder

In Bizarro Hollywood
Sheriff Bart – Richard Pryor
The Waco Kid – Gig Young

FACE/OFF

In Our World
Sean Archer/Castor Troy – John Travolta
Castor Troy/Sean Archer – Nicolas Cage

In Bizarro Hollywood
Sean Archer/Castor Troy – Arnold Schwarzenegger
Castor Troy/Sean Archer – Sylvester Stallone
(the pairings of Al Pacino/Robert De Niro and Harrison Ford/Michael Douglas were also considered)

BAD BOYS

In Our World
Det. Mike Lowrey – Will Smith
Det. Marcus Burnett – Martin Lawrence

In Bizarro Hollywood
Det. Mike Lowrey – Dana Carvey
Det. Marcus Burnett – Jon Lovitz

THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION

In Our World
Andy Dufresne – Tim Robbins
Red Redding – Morgan Freeman

In Bizarro Hollywood
Andy Dufresne – Tom Hanks
Red Redding – Clint Eastwood

SUNSET BOULEVARD

In Our World
Norma Desmond – Gloria Swanson
Joe Gillis – William Holden

In Bizarro Hollywood
Norma Desmond – Mae West
Joe Gillis – Marlon Brando

THE MATRIX

In Our World
Neo – Keanu Reeves
Trinity – Carrie-Ann Moss
Morpheus – Laurence Fishburne

In Bizarro Hollywood
Neo – Will Smith
Trinity – Sandra Bullock
Morpheus – Sean Connery

COLLATERAL

In Our World
Max – Jaime Foxx
Vincent – Tom Cruise

In Bizarro Hollywood
Max – Adam Sandler
Vincent – Russell Crowe

GONE WITH THE WIND

In Our World
Scarlett O’Hara – Vivien Leigh
Rhett Butler – Clark Gable

In Bizarro Hollywood
Scarlett O’Hara – Paulette Goddard
Rhett Butler – Gary Cooper

MINORITY REPORT

In Our World
John Anderton – Tom Cruise
Lamar Burgess – Max von Sydow
Danny Witwer – Colin Farrell
Agatha – Samantha Morton
Iris Hineman – Lois Smith
Lara – Kathryn Morris

In Bizarro Hollywood
John Anderton – Tom Cruise
Lamar Burgess – Ian McKellen
Danny Witwer – Matt Damon
Agatha – Cate Blanchett
Iris Hineman – Meryl Streep
Lara – Jenna Elfman

MEN IN BLACK

In Our World
Agent K – Tommy Lee Jones
Agent J – Will Smith
Edgar – Vincent D-Onofrio

In Bizarro Hollywood
Agent K – Clint Eastwood
Agent J – Chris O’Donnell
Edgar – John Turturro

THE TERMINATOR

In Our World
The Terminator – Arnold Schwarzenegger
Kyle Reese – Michael Biehn

In Bizarro Hollywood
The Terminator – Lance Henriksen
Kyle Reese – Arnold Schwarzenegger

THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RINGS

In Our World
Frodo Baggins – Elijah Wood
Gandalf the Grey – Ian McKellen
Aragorn – Viggo Mortensen
Boromir – Sean Bean
Gimli – John Rhys-Davies
Elrond – Hugo Weaving
Bilbo Baggins – Ian Holm

In Bizarro Hollywood
Frodo Baggins – Elijah Wood
Gandalf the Grey – Sean Connery
Aragorn – Nicolas Cage
Boromir – Liam Neeson
Gimli – Billy Connolly
Elrond – David Bowie
Bilbo Baggins – Sylvester McCoy

POINT BREAK

In Our World
Johnny Utah – Keanu Reeves
Bodhi – Patrick Swayze

In Bizarro Hollywood
Johnny Utah – Matthew Broderick
Bodhi – Charlie Sheen

BREAKFAST AT TIFFANY’S

In Our World
Holly Golightly – Audrey Hepburn

In Bizarro Hollywood
Marilyn Monroe

THE GODFATHER

In Our World
Don Vito Corleone – Marlon Brando
Michael Corleone – Al Pacino
Tom Hagen – Robert Duvall
Sonny Corleone – James Caan
Kay Adams – Diane Keaton
Carlo Rizzi – Gianni Russo
Moe Greene – Alex Rocco
Paulie Gatto – John Martino

In Bizarro Hollywood
Don Vito Corleone – Ernest Borgnine
Michael Corleone – Robert Redford
Tom Hagen – Steve McQueen
Sonny Corleone – Anthony Perkins
Kay Adams – Mia Farrow
Carlo Rizzi – Sylvester Stallone
Moe Greene – William Devane
Paulie Gatto – Robert De Niro

APOCALYPSE NOW

In Our World
Captain Benjamin Willard – Martin Sheen
Colonel Walter E. Kurtz – Marlon Brando

In Bizarro Hollywood
Capt. Benjamin Willard – Steve McQueen
Col. Walter Kurtz – Jack Nicholson

THE PHILADELPHIA STORY

In Our World
C.K. Dexter Haven – Cary Grant
Macaulay Connor – Jams Stewart
Tracy Lord – Katharine Hepburn

In Bizarro Hollywood
C.K. Dexter Haven – Clark Gable
Macaulay Connor – Spencer Tracy
Tracy Lord – Katharine Hepburn

DEMOLITION MAN

In Our World
John Spartan – Sylvester Stallone
Simon Phoenix – Wesley Snipes
Lenina Huxley – Sandra Bullock

In Bizarro Hollywood
John Spartan – Steven Seagal
Simon Phoenix – Jean-Claude Van Damme
Lenina Huxley – Lori Petty

If you enjoyed this article on Hollywood’s bizarre casting decisions, be sure to check out the following articles:

This entry was posted on Wednesday, April 14th, 2010 at 4:38 pm and is filed under Casting Couch, Thoughts on Film. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

6 Responses to “Hollywood’s Bizarre Casting Decisions”

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April 15, 2010

Lovevdo69

John Turturro as Edgar. seriously? Vincent did it fantastically!

April 15, 2010

Shane

I agree with you, but it’s just one of many examples of wacky Hollywood casting. I’m sure Turturro would’ve done a fine job, but I thought Vincent D nailed it (just like he nails most of his roles).

April 15, 2010

A.J.

I heard Sean Connery was offered a contract that included a proportion of revenue for the Lord of the Rings series. He turned it down because he didn’t ‘get it.’ I’m sure he’s not hurting for money though. It’s hard to imagine another actor in a memorable role, but some of them are truly mind boggling…

May 21, 2010

irma kvezereli

my dream is to play in the film.even in the small

March 7, 2012

Tyrus of Gaul

Your style is very unique in comparison to other people I have read stuff from. I appreciate you for posting when you have the opportunity, Guess I will just bookmark this site.

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