Best Quotes from 2010 Oscars

Monday, March 8, 2010 at 1:16 pm

As part of our coverage of the 82nd Academy Awards, I now present a little post called Best Quotes from 2010 Oscars. I was hoping to be able to stack this article will all sorts of heartfelt thanks and clever quips from Oscar recipients, but the ceremony itself was lackluster when it came to memorable moments.

To beef things up a bit, I’ve also included comments overheard during our Oscar-watching party. Joining me were my pals Randy, Cliff, and Brian (their last names have been excluded to protect them from possible retribution). As you’ll see below, they had plenty to say about the on-screen events. My apologies in advance to anyone who may be offended by their rather off-the-cuff remarks.

“I’d like to thank the Academy for not considering Na’vi a foreign language.” (Juan Jose Campanella accepting his Oscar for Best Foreign Language Film)

“Catfish!” (My buddy Randy has dubbed Maggie Gyllenhaal “Catfish,” because he thinks she looks like one. For the rest of the broadcast, this was shouted out whenever she appeared on the screen.)

“I hope to come back here with a feature film in about 36 years.” (Nicolas Schmerkin accepting the award for Best Animated Short)

“I think I saw John Edwards standing in line.” (My pal Randy during the red carpet telecast.)

“And this is Alec Baldwin.” (Host Steve Martin after being given a flattering introduction by co-host Alec Baldwin.)

“She’s like the Ric Flair of actresses.” (My friend Cliff equating Meryl Streep’s number of nominations with The Nature Boy’s title reigns.)

“Gucci!” (A strangely enthusiastic Jeff Bridges when asked what he was wearing during the red carpet interviews.)

“Robert Duvall back there looking completely confused.” (Randy…again.)

“Being a friend is getting the other a cup of coffee. Can you do that for me, Ted? It is Ted, isn’t it?” (Tim Robbins relating what Morgan Freeman said to him on the last day of shooting for The Shawshank Redemption. He was joking, of course.)

“He needs a comb.” (Randy commenting on the state of Zac Effron’s hair.)

Steve Martin: “There’s that damn Helen Mirren.”
Alec Baldwin: “That’s Dame Helen Mirren.”

“Are they dating?” (Cliff, initially unaware that Tina Fey and Steve Carell have a movie called Date Night coming out soon.)

“What’s up with all the Hitler memorabilia?” (Steve Martin joking about the supposed question that Meryl Streep’s co-stars always ask about her.)

“He don’t even know where he is.” (Randy referring to Christopher Plummer during the red carpet ceremonies.)

“I love you more than rainbows, baby.” (Ryan Bingham speaking to his wife after winning an Oscar for Best Original Song.)

“She’s still just Jenny from the block.” (Randy, surprisingly, commenting on Jennifer Lopez’s interview on the red carpet.)

“Thank you, Mom and Dad, for turning me onto such a groovy profession.” (Jeff Bridges thanking his parents while accepting his Best Actor Oscar.)

“We also sell candles.” (Randy putting words in the mouth of Morgan Freeman, who was on the red carpet showing off bracelets being sold for charity.)

“Ol’ horse face.” followed by “Wilbur!” (Randy commenting on Sarah Jessica Parker’s appearance.)

“She looks possessed.” (Cliff on a wide-eyed Molly Ringwald.)

“Now that’s hot.” (Randy as Elizabeth Banks took the stage.)

“I could’ve played Ray Charles.” (Uttered by Randy, my white, heavy-set, buddy. A terrible Ray Charles impersonation would follow.)

“I’ve had about enough of Kate Winslet.” (Randy, once again, as Kate Winslet took the stage.)

“The world is hanging on your thoughts like the meat is hanging from your bones.” (Randy, while Gabourey Sidibe was being interviewed on the red carpet.)

That concludes our list of the Best Quotes 2010 Oscars. I should point out that my friends, especially Randy, didn’t know I was writing anything down. Otherwise, I’m sure the comments would’ve been much more restrained. Then again, they might have been worse. Either way, I hope you enjoyed them.

For more on the 2010 Oscars, see the following links:


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