Steven Seagal Quotes – Actor Biography

Monday, April 12, 2010 at 8:44 am

Whether you love him or hate him, these Steven Seagal quotes should provide more than a few minutes of reading enjoyment for action fans and the morbidly curious. I’ve also included a number of factoids–enough to constitute a mini actor biography on the (formerly) pony-tailed one. Whether he’s breaking forearms or rockin’ out with his band, Steven Seagal is one interesting dude.

Yes, Seagal has a band. They’re known as Thunderbox, and they present a blend of blues, world, and pop music. While I like to imagine that former action stars like Jeff Speakman and Brian Bosworth fill out the rhythm section, I’m pretty sure the guys are just normal musicians.

If you haven’t had a chance to hear Seagal play, just check out the album cover to Songs from the Crystal Cave below. I’m not sure where the Crystal Cave is, but I’m sure it’s filled with pain and the shattered bones of his enemies. By the way, you can click on the text or pic links in this article to buy select Steven Seagal merchandise from Amazon. We do get a small commission for sending you there, but it doesn’t cost you anything extra.

And here are few other items you might be interested in:

Actor Biography for Steven Seagal

I’m not going to launch into a two-page actor biography for Steven Seagal. Instead, I’m going to throw out some interesting facts and leave it at that. Here goes…

Steven Seagal Movie Quotes

The following Steven Seagal quotes have been taken from his various movies, and they provide a solid glimpse into the on-screen swagger demonstrated by this action star. While some are downright memorable, others are just plain awful. Either way, you won’t forget these words of wisdom anytime soon.

Nico Toscani from Above the Law: If I find out you’re lying, I’ll come back and kill you in your own kitchen.

Mason Storm from Hard to Kill: This is for my wife. Fuck you and die!

Jake Hopper from Belly of the Beast: I liked you a lot better as a bitch.

John Hatcher from Marked for Death: You fuck with my family, you die.

Jonathon Cold from The Foreigner: Don’t do that. If you touch it again, I will blow your 2-inch dick off.

Detective Gino Felino from Out for Justice: Now look, I’ll feed you every dope-dealing guy he’s got, but let me do it my way. Just give me an unmarked and a shotgun.

Casey Ryback from Under Siege: What kind of babbling bullshit is this?

Matt Connor from Pistol Whipped: Well, probably I would like you a lot less if you had a dick.

Casey Ryback from Under Siege: Krill’s a maniac! Go tell the captain he spit in my soup!

John Hatcher from Marked for Death: One thought he was invincible… the other thought he could fly. They were both wrong.

Jack Foster from Shadow Man: It ain’t over til the wolf howls.

Orin Boyd from Exit Wounds: What am I, a shit magnet?

Casey Ryback from Under Siege: Get my pies out of the oven!

Jack Taggert from Fire Down Below: Is this kind of like Deliverance or something?

Casey Ryback from Under Siege 2: Dark Territory: Nobody beats me in the kitchen.

Forrest Taft from On Deadly Ground: For 350,000 dollars, I’d fuck anything once.

Jack Cole from The Glimmer Man: If that’s the best you got, I’m just gonna have to kill you.

Jack Taggert from Fire Down Below: If your daddy knew exactly how stupid you were, he’d trade you in for a pet monkey.

Cock Puncher from The Onion Movie: I don’t think you have the balls.

Forrest Taft from On Deadly Ground: What does it take to change the essence of a man?

Steven Seagal Real-Life Quotes

In addition to his movie lines, Steven Seagal has also delivered some pretty entertaining dialogue (intentional or not) in real life. Take a look, and prepare to be enlightened.

Steven Seagal Characters

Since I’ve got your attention, let’s go ahead and take a look at all the Steven Seagal characters available on DVD and Blu-ray. Whether they’re cops, scientists or zombie killers, all Steven Seagal characters have two things in common: (1) they likely have a shadowy past in which they may have been a member of an intelligence agency, and (2) they can kick ass like nobody’s business.

Now here’s the list…

For those of you keeping score at home, the names “John” and “Jack” are most popular for Seagal roles, with each being used four times in various films. Cock Puncher has only been used once (in The Onion Movie), but I’m hoping that one will soon overtake the others.

If you’ve enjoyed this multi-faceted look at Steven Seagal quotes, be sure to check out other actor biographies and random strangeness from Only Good Movies:

This entry was posted on Monday, April 12th, 2010 at 8:44 am and is filed under Interesting Movie Facts, Movie Quotes, Thoughts on Film. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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